Ennio

Click here to read my article on Ennio in Edge Magazine.

New Article

Click here to read my article on philanthropy in J. Weekly.

My Yma Sumac Obsession, or Once in Love with Amy

The recent passing of Yma Sumac seems like a good time to finally write the tribute to her that I've been thinking about for years. Less a tribute, I suppose, than my memories of this singular singer.
Like with so many things in my life, my knowledge of Yma began with a call from Lloyd Stensrud and Richard Moss in the late '80s, asking if I wanted to catch a performance by Yma Sumac. I had never heard of her, but they assured me that I would enjoy the concert. They told me about her story: a Peruvian singer with a five-octave range, she released a series of popular albums in the '50s, did a couple of movies, and was now making a comeback.
She was performing in a small theater in San Francisco and as the lights dimmed and the band finished the overture, she emerged from the shadows. An exotic creature, he looks had faded somewhat from her heyday, but she was still striking. She proceeded to give a whirlwind concert, plucking favorites from her repertoire, abusing her band (a trend, I would learn later), and teasing the audience who wanted to hear nothing more than one of the songs from her popular Mambo album. She would make that number her encore and "faked" her way through it. I was smitten, and over the next few weeks I bought every recording of hers I could get my hands on. (My obsession isn't as bad as Richard's. He has to not only have every recording, but every packaging of those recordings, from CDs to 78-rpm records and everything in between.)
Moving from the Bay Area to Southern California in 1988, I found that Yma started performing regularly at the Hollywood Roosevelt's Cinegrill. My ex and I caught every performance there, and they were pretty much the same set, more of her abusing her band (I think she loathed most musicians), the audience wanting more from Mambo and her obliging grudgingly, and her holding court afterwards for autographs. By 1991, she would do one more concert at The Strand in Redondo Beach (often interrupted by the sound of the dishwasher) and would again retire.
The crowd at those concerts were an odd combination of original fans now in their 60s and 70s, gays, and younger hipsters, the latter in the minority. That would change with her final concert at the Hollywood House of Blues in either 2000 or 2001 (I'm not sure). By then, the Space Age bachelor pad music fad was booming, and the room was filled with hipsters and hipster wannabes.
Overall, it was the same set she'd been doing all along, but there was one somewhat disturbing surprise. Yma was outfitted in a very low cut, green sequin dress, and at one point in the concert, it literally fell off. There she was, bare-breasted on the stage-embarrassing to say the least. That, unfortunately, would be the last time I'd see Yma.
My two favorite Yma stories are ones where I didn't see her, one fact and one fiction. The factual one involves my taking pictures for the cover of IN Los Angeles magazine, where I was working as an editor. We were doing a cover story on the Sunset Junction Festival, and needed a shot of the street where it is held as a background for the cover model. I wanted to get a shot from up high, looking down on the street, so the festival director and I climbed the stairs of the building where their offices were located. I couldn't get the shot I wanted from any of the windows by the stairs, and by chance, we spotted someone coming out of their apartment. We asked if we could shoot some pictures out his window. After I finished getting my pictures, I turned to leave and noticed stacks of pictures of Yma on a table and memorabilia everywhere. I asked him why he had all the Yma stuff, and he told me he was her personal assistant. Yeah, right, I thought, so I started quizzing him. He had enough obscure knowledge about Yma that I decided he was telling the truth, so I asked him if there was any possibility of getting autographed pictures of her for Richard and I. Two weeks later, the pics arrived, and the autograph was authentic, I had some items she autographed after a concert to compare it to. That picture is up in my living room, draped in black once I heard of her passing.
My other Yma story is complete fiction: that she was a villainess on the TV show Batman. Her character was the Siren, and she was paired with the Joker. They would rob jewelry stores together: Yma would enter and hit one of her high notes, which would stun everyone and break the glass on the display cases. The Joker would then snatch up all of the loot and they would make their escape. Completely false, but utterly believable.
I shed a few tears when I heard of her passing Yma was one of a kind, and there will never be another voice like hers: notes as high as a bird, and as low as a dog's growl. Rest in peace Yma, mi amor.

Jewish Museum Article

Click here to read my article on the Jewish Heritage Museum in J. Weekly.

Harvey Milk Article

Click here to read my article Harvey Milk and Me in the Orange County and Long Beach Blade.

RIP Yma Sumac

I have just received word of the passing of Yma Sumac. I will post my personal memories of her at a later time.

http://www.yma-sumac.com/

John Cleese Brillance

John Cleese came up with one of my favorite moments from Campaign 2008. Appearing on MSNBC's Countdown with Keith Olbermann on Oct. 31, he said:

"If Carl Rove had been working for the Democrats, he would have run something about John McCain saying, 'This man—so-called hero—spent five and a half years, the most formative years of his life, in a Communist country, speaking only to Communists. He never had to pick up the tab, all his accommodations were free. Do we want someone as president who has been palling around with Communists?"

My Favorite Ad of Election 2008

I'm glad they finally used Palin's wink against her:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ZtOFiO0R0U

It reminds me a bit of Johnson's "Daisy" ad, but a lot subtler:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IkWAhuXtalw

Mock Thanksgiving Turkey

With Thanksgiving approaching, I thought this would be a good time to post my famous Mock Thanksgiving Turkey Recipe.
Eat your heart out, Martha!

Cook two-dozen fish sticks until crispy and brown. Mix up about a quart of instant mashed potatoes. Arrange the fish sticks on a greased baking sheet into an oval. Top with a layer of mashed potatoes. Continue alternating the layers of fish sticks and mashed potatoes until you have an semi igloo-shaped “turkey body.” Cover outside with more mashed potatoes. Using toothpicks, attach two cooked, large broccoli spears to resemble drumsticks, and cover with more mashed potatoes. Sprinkle the “turkey" liberally with paprika and bake in a 350-degree oven until golden brown.

The Mighty KlezTones

Click here to read my article on The Mighty KlezTones, as seen in J. Weekly.

Joe Six-Pack

The Real "Joe the Plumber"

Folsom Street Fair

Check out my photo spread from the Folsom Street Fair, as seen in IN Los Angeles magazine:
http://www.inlamagazine.com/1118/social_whirl/sw.html

Piggies at the Trough

I can't help but think that this $700 billion bail out will benefit no one but the rich. I am also concerned about the proposed lack of oversight the administration is asking for. It's just another power grab and a way to ensure that the rich get richer. Listening to Bush's language in describing why we need to take action quickly sounds ominously familiar. I wouldn't put it past him if Obama gets elected to declare a national emergency. I sure hope people won't be fooled this time, but I'm not hopeful. And McCain canceling the debate?? C'mon, what a wuss. 

Letter to the editor

There was a letter to the editor in the San Francisco Chronicle that was so absurd, I had to reply:
A peanut butter and jelly sandwich is not a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without either the peanut butter or the jelly. It does not take a law license or a religious preference or a high IQ to understand this. In fact, even a child can recognize basic reality, often better than we adults. In the same way, a "marriage" that lacks a husband or wife is not a marriage.

Whatever it may be, it is not a marriage. And calling it so does not make it so, unless we are willing to delude ourselves. Let's not delude ourselves and others - it hurts both of us. Vote "yes" on Proposition 8.

My response:

Just when you think opponents of same-sex marriage have run out of arguments for their stand, they come up with... sandwiches? Yes, everyone knows what a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is, but there are a variety of sandwiches that should be acknowledged and celebrated. Should everyone be limited to just peanut butter and jelly sandwiches because a segment of society only recognizes that as a sandwich? No, other sandwiches must be included, because not everyone likes peanut butter and jelly. So, celebrate diversity, have a egg salad or a roast beef sandwich (or even peanut butter and banana if you're daring), and vote "no" on Proposition 8.

Treasure Island Music Festival and Harrison Street

Read my article on the Treasure Island Music Festival: http://www.edgesanfrancisco.com/index.php?ch=entertainment&sc=culture&sc2=features&sc3=&id=80468
See my pictures of the Harrison Street Festival, as published in IN Los Angeles magazine: http://www.inlamagazine.com/1116/social_whirl/sw.html

Latest Articles

Read my latest article about Bnai Mitzvahs:

http://www.jewishsf.com/content/2-0-/module/displaystory/story_id/35962/format/html/displaystory.html

See my photo spread from the Dore Alley Festival:

http://www.inlamagazine.com/1114/social_whirl/sw.html

Two More and the Hypocrisy of the Religious Right

Two more look-alikes for Gov. Palin have been brought to my attention: Tina Fey and Peggy Hill.
While we're on the subject, if it had been anyone else's daughter (except a darling of the religious right), the fundies would have been all over it. The girl is a fornicator, look it it in the Bible.

Separated at Birth?

Am I the only one to notice the resemblance between Vice Presidential Nominee Gov. Palin and Karen from Will and Grace?

Very Old Stories

I recently went through a lot of old discs (only five of 50 survived), and found some of my essays and articles when I first started writing. They sure have a different feel and tone from what I do now. I suppose the difference then was that I was writing for pure enjoyment.
Here are two from 1993 and 1994:

2/13/93
We spent the day in San Juan Capistrano. As we were getting ready to leave we came across a VFW rally. There was a politician speaking, we believe it was Ron Packard. He said that he was introducing a bill that would make the ban on gays in the military permanent. The crowd applauded. I felt like a nigger.

STONEWALL: THE JUDY CONNECTION OR HOW I LOST MY VIRGINITY
I remember it clearly. I was thirteen years old that summer. My boy scout troop was camping out at the entrance to Anaheim Bay in Huntington Beach. The car radio was set to a news station and the announcer said that Judy Garland was dead.
For some reason, this news affected me, but I didn't know why. I didn't really care that much about Judy Garland. My only memories about her from that period were that she was in The Wizard Of OZ. Suddenly she was dead and for reasons unknown to me, I felt the loss.
I don't remember hearing anything about the riots in New York just after Judy's funeral. Riots were becoming fairly common in the late 1960's. I don't think it was even reported in The Los Angeles Times. I certainly didn't know the riots could possibly be connected to Judy Garlands death. I wouldn't know that until many years later. I also had no idea how those riots would affect the rest of my life.
What I do remember from that summer was losing my virginity to another member of my scout troop. For years I told people I lost my virginity to a woman when I was sixteen. At the time what we had done in the summer of '69 seemed like no big deal. As my mother said years later, "lots of boys do that sort of thing at that age," which is true, but they don't spend the next seven years obsessing over it, hoping it would happen again.
To paraphrase Theodore White: one never realizes history when one is experiencing it. It's odd looking back on that summer, how it all fits together: Judy Garland's death, the stonewall riots and a hot summer day in my best friends bedroom.

Latest Articles

I've been writing for J. Weekly, the Jewish newspaper for the Bay Area lately. Here's a link to my articles: http://www.google.com/search?q=amster&domains=www.jewishsf.com&sitesearch=www.jewishsf.com

A New Low

While watching my current favorite cartoon (next to Robot Chicken and The Venture Bros.), Code Monkeys on G4, I saw a commercial for what has to be the new low in TV programming: Hurl. Of course, I recorded an episode (I even watched an episode of Cavemen just to see how bad it was) after I heard the description: contestants eat massive quantities of food, are put through stomach-churning gyrations, and the last one to puke wins. It looks like it was shot in the Broadway Tunnel in Los Angeles. Can they come up with anything worse? I'm sure they will. I don't need to see it again.

Let My People Eat!

One of my great laments since moving to the Bay Area is the dearth of anything resembling a decent deli. There are few things I miss about Los Angeles, but one of them is Canter's, which I virtually used to live at. The last good deli I went to was Katz's in Manhattan in December, and I have had a serious Jones for some juicy pastrami ever since. I've asked every Jew I know around here if there is good deli to be found in the Bay Area and they all respond "no." I've always found this odd, since San Francisco is known as foodie central. I have been advised to stay away from David's on Geary, as most consider it an overpriced joke. On a recommendation, I went to Saul's in Berkeley once, and found it woefully lacking. Others have told me about Moishe's Pipick in San Francisco, but I've heard mixed reports.
One place mentioned to try was Miller's East Coast Deli on Polk Street, and I am pleased to report that this picky deli maven is happy with the results. While not extraordinary by New York or Los Angeles standards, the food was far better deli fare than anywhere else I've found. Their menu is large and chock full of the standards like pastrami, corned beef, lox, whitefish, kugel, cabbage rolls, kishka and kasha varnishkas. I couldn't decide between pastrami and corned beef (the eternal struggle), so I went for "The Chief": pastrami, corned beef, russian dressing, and cole slaw served on rye. This generous sandwich was just right, with lots of steaming meat, wet cole slaw and the bread just the right thickness and slightly hard texture. I was a happy man. They also scored points for having Dr. Brown's Cel Ray, my favorite deli drink. Yes, it really tastes like celery, and it's refreshing accompaniment for corned beef or pastrami. Next time, I'm trying the matzo ball soup, which looked good and perhaps a Reuben (they have seven different varieties).Then again, maybe the fish platter, a feast for two for just $18.99. Overall, their prices are reasonable, with most basic sandwiches running $7.49 for 6 oz of meat and $9.49 for 9 oz. Another feather in their cap at Miller's: the serve H & H Bagels from New York, considered my many to be the best. Every time I visit Manhattan, I bring back a dozen, and brought one home with me for my next morning breakfast.
While not the perfect deli experience (no crabby waitresses), Miller's is pretty darn good, and by Bay Area standards for a deli, great. You'll be seeing me there lots!

Miller's East Coast Deli
1725 Polk St. (between Clay and Washington)
San Francisco
(415) 563-3542
www.millersdelisf.com

Work at last!

It's been a long six months, but I finally have a job!

Editing vs. Sausages

You know there's something wrong with the world when you can make more money frying sausages and putting them on toothpicks than you can being a newspaper editor.
As I was perusing the job boards tonight, I came across an ad for an editor's position for a tri-weekly newspaper. The salary offered was $25,000-$30,000—an insulting amount. Then, while checking the retail jobs (yes, I'm thinking of going back into retail), there was a job advertised for a "sausage demonstrator," which paid $15 per hour (plus mileage allowance). That equals $31,200 per year!

Yes, you can earn more by frying up sausages, slicing them, putting them on toothpicks, and distributing coupons than if you "have experience in Quark, front-page layout, AP style and be ready to lend a hand in writing stories" and can produce a three-times-a-week community newspaper. The message: we value sausage slicers more than wordsmiths.

New Outlet

Be sure to check out my new food columns at www.novometro.com

Bubbalicious

When my friend Richard Moss told me that Bill Clinton was appearing in Oakland, I jumped at the chance to get some pics. I'd still vote for Bubba if I could, although I'm supporting Obama.

Bye Bye Carl, Hello Lou

Seeing the obit for Carl Karcher (Carl's Jr.) made me think about Lou Sheldon. I remember back in the late '90s, when I first became a gay activist and was involved in battling Shedon and his Traditional Values Coalition www.traditionalvalues.org that Karcher was a big suporter of Sheldon's. At that time, Sheldon was a small-time anti-gay bigot involved in stopping the first Orange County gay pride celebration (he didn't succeed, but that's another blog). I don't know if it's still true, but back in those days, no self-respecting gay or lesbian would be caught dead eating at Carl's Jr. The boycott even went on for years after Karcher had nothing to do with the company except for being a figurehead.
Anyway, seeing Karcher's obit made me want to check in with my old nemesis Lou, so I went on his site. The only thing I found were the "TVC Comics," which once again prove that conservatives have no sense of satire, they only know how to attack.
http://www.traditionalvalues.org/comics/index.php

Gonzo Foodism

I have a new Web site: Gonzofoodism.com. The site will serve as a repository for links to Web sites and blogs that deal with eating on the edgy side. I currently have a blog up, where I'll be posting some of my "different" food writing. There's also a link to Anthony Bourdain's blog. Please forward anything you feel is worthy of inclusion.

Eating My Way Across New York

I was in New York over the holidays, unfortunately for only a few days. With only one day in Manhattan to myself, I indulged in one of my favorite pastimes: enjoying New York City's culinary pleasures. My day began with a trip down to the Lower East Side (my favorite part of town) and a trip to The Pickle Guys (www.nycpickleguys.com), where they still sell pickles out of barrels. This place is legendary and for good reason, the pickles are great (love the full sours—lots of garlic), and they pickle everything you can imagine. The place is tiny and noisy, just as it should be. I have not had good deli since I left L.A. For some reason, the Bay Area doesn't have a good deli, which is odd, considering what a culinary town San Francisco is (but that's another blog). Getting a pastrami fix when in NY was a high priority, so I walked a couple of blocks to Katz's Deli (www.katzdeli.com). This place exudes atmosphere, the odd ticket/billing set-up is interesting, and their pastrami has just the right ratio of fat to lean. After a side trip to Strand Books (www.strandbooks.com), the world's greatest used book store, and Forbidden Planet (www.fpnyc.com), a great comic book store right next door, I proceeded to my prime target. Unfortunately, the line outside of Zabar's (www.zabars.com) was a block long (it was Christmas Eve, something I didn't take into account. Fortunately, New York's best bagels, H&H (www.handhbagels.com) was right next door. Hopping on the subway, I proceeded to Times Square, with its plethora of hot dog and halal meat on a stick stands. I didn't partake, but my nephew and I had "we think it's chicken" on a stick a couple of days later, and it was great. It also lead to a discussion among the family about how everything tastes better on a stick (well, doesn't it?) I was on a search for hot chestnuts, but to my extreme disappointment, wasn't finding them. Finally, I found a stand by Rockefeller Center, now it felt like Christmas!

I finished the day with a half dozen oysters and beer at the Grand Central Oyster Bar (www.oysterbarny.com), and they were wonderful. The problem with oysters is the more I have the more I want. Everyone in my family are oyster eaters (I was fed them as a baby, really). We had heard there was an oyster bar in Manhattan that patterned itself after the legendary Swan Oyster Depot in San Francisco (a must if you're ever visiting San Francisco, I've been going there since the '70s). After some research, I found Pearl Oyster Bar (www.pearloysterbar.com), and we set out on Dec. 26, only to find it closed for the holidays. Better luck next time, and hopefully more time to eat on my next visit. The good news is that with all of this eating, as well as birthday and holiday feasts, I only gained four pounds!